In one of the funniest displays of patriotic pandering this side of “The Colbert Report,” Cook chose to sing “God Bless the USA” this week, and she flew out of the bottom three on the wings of a flock of bald eagles. Bad news for Chikezie though. The chipper crooner was sent packing after his last two song choices failed to live up to his banjo-tastic top 12 performance. We’d feel bad, but we were way more attached to the other two on the chopping block.
The judges’ table
Simon's harshest slam: Oh, British people and their charming colloquialisms. Even when they’re mean, they’re pretty funny. Cowell told Jason that her performance this week “was like someone busking outside of a subway station.” 'Busking,' for those of you not in the know, is the classy, British version of begging. Good show, old boy!
Randy’s most repetitive comment: Snap! Randy was definitely the hardest to please this week, and Ryan was quick to point it out. His biggest beefs? Poor song choice and “just not feelin’ it.”
Least intelligible Paula-ism: On Tuesday night, Paula’s volatile mental state transcended her usual verbal vomit and manifested itself in something even less comprehensible: her wardrobe. She looked like a cross between a figure skater and a dominatrix (and not in a good way).
The good, the bad and the pitchy
The frontrunners: It may be presumptuous, but we’re going to call the top three right now. Expect Brooke and the Davids (Archuleta and Cook) duking it out for a spot on the coveted finale this May.
Who’s going next: Things are not looking good for Syesha. Unless Dolly imparts some sage advice on how to connect with the American people, Syesha will probably be hitting the road next week. And what about Ramiele? She hasn’t been in the bottom three yet, but she sure does deserve it...
The dark horses: Kristy Lee Cook may actually have some staying power in her, though few can recover from a stint in the bottom three this early in the game. The same goes for Carly and Jason, who clearly aren’t the favorites they seemed to be. Michael’s performances seem to get more awkward every week, but he keeps plugging along. Hey, it worked for Taylor Hicks.
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