- Running time:
- 93 minutes
- Kirsten Dunst -
- Isla Fisher -
- Lizzy Caplan -
- James Marsden -
- Kyle Bornheimer -
Bachelorette (* 1/2 out of four, R, opens Friday) is a tar-black comedy that riffs off a relatively new abomination: Bridesmaid-zillas.
Talented actors are wasted in a film that induces more cringes than chuckles as women old enough to know better act like horny sailors on leave, absorb mass quantities of alcohol and drugs, and generally behave horribly.
Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher and Lizzy Caplan play the most narcissistic and nasty trio of bridesmaids a luckless bride could have. Despite their utter lack of human decency, each is handily paired off romantically with one of the groomsmen, who come off as incidental accessories.
During one ultra-long night-before-the-wedding bacchanal, these women snort coke with gusto, get ragingly drunk and befoul the bride's dress with various bodily fluids while insulting her behind her back. Occasionally each of their big, serious issues gets revealed — bulimia, slit wrists, abortion — which brings any aura of lighthearted comedy to a screeching halt. Writer-director Leslye Headland adapted her off-Broadway play, but the misanthropic farce feels as heavy-handed as a leaden wedding cake.
It's a poor man's Hangover and a humorless, toxic Bridesmaids wannabe.
As unlikable as Kristen Wiig's character could be in Bridesmaids, it was evident she was a true friend to the bride and that she had endured a string of bad luck that made her resentful. In the case of these bridesmaids, nothing in particular seems to have triggered their raunchy meanness. They don't seem to care much about each other and even less their purported friend, the sweetly oblivious bride Becky (Rebel Wilson), whom they called "Pigface" in high school.
For Regan (Dunst), it's belittling and bossing people that most intoxicates her. Katie (Fisher) and Gena (Caplan) just want to party like it's 1999, which is probably right around the time they were all back-stabbing each other in high school.
The ensuing years haven't contributed much to their maturity. Gena brags: "I have done so much coke that I should be dead." But inexplicably, Clyde (Adam Scott), the high school boyfriend she still pines for, finds her wondrously lovable. He makes a speech at his buddy's wedding professing his undying affection for Gena. No matter that he's just re-connected with her in the wee hours before the wedding. Given that it was a marriage toast, shouldn't he have been directing his remarks to the bride and groom, rather than prattling on about himself?
But there was never a more self-obsessed group save for the nerdy Joe (Kyle Bornheimer), who resists hooking up with Katie to avoid taking advantage of her inebriated state. She overdoses, paramedics are called in, and somehow this is considered humorous.
In the end, the foul-mouthed film tries in vain to clean itself up — like the three deplorable characters on the morning of the wedding — and morph into a buddy comedy. The bridesmaids who nearly ruined their friend's wedding drink to "never doing any of that ever again."
Save yourself from ever having to sit through such a mean-spirited mess. Re-watch Bridesmaids and enjoy the concept of wedding parties gone awry, but carried off with real humor and heart.
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