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From the very first scene of his very first film, Kevin Smith has clearly been an expert at thinking, writing, talking and directing dirty.
At the outset, he had to fight with the MPAA ratings board over its decision to slap his debut film, “Clerks,” with a NC-17. Years later, “Good Morning America” critic Joel Siegel famously stormed out of “Clerks II,” proclaiming the sequel the most offensive thing he had seen in some 30 years of reviewing.
But all that was just prologue to Smith’s newest and raunchiest film, “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” opening Oct. 31. Seth Rogen (“Pineapple Express”) and Elizabeth Banks (“The 40-Year-Old Virgin”) star as the title characters—two long-time, platonic friends who decide to make an amateur porn movie in order to pay their bills. The supporting cast includes Smith regular Jason Mewes (best known as "Jay" of Jay and Silent Bob), rising comedian Craig Robinson ("Pineapple Express," "The Office") and two ladies with bona fide porn credentials: Traci Lords and Katie Morgan.
Not so surprisingly, the film has led Smith to have a few more lengthy conversations with the MPAA. The more things change, it seems, the more they stay the same.
At the risk of sounding obvious, have you ever made a porno?
I have never, and here’s why: I would never put my fat ass in front of a camera. I’ve thankfully never been asked to, because not only would it probably put me off from having sex ever again, but it might just start the campaign to stop anyone else ever having sex again. You would just put this video on, and say “This is how it looks, are you sure you want to be doing it?”
I’m the kind of guy who just lies there and has stuff done to him. Can you imagine me being filmed having sex with someone where I was on top? I have no upper body strength, they would just use the video as evidence of how I killed someone.
I’ve read about the fights with the MPAA over a NC-17 rating for this movie. How did you finally decide how much to show in the sex scenes?
I used my inner barometer as a good measure. There are people like my mother who will never see this movie, no matter what. You call a movie “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” and as many people as you turn off, there are those who you’ll attract just thanks to the name. Those are the people who we’re making it for, and if nothing is putting me off, then nothing will put them off.
What did you think when you found out “Zack and Miri” got a NC-17?
I was sort of like: “I know this movie’s not for everybody but I know it works within the confines of a R.” I went to the appeals process, and luckily it worked. They flipped the rating without us having to make any cuts. I’ve had a few people say “Oh man, I can’t wait for the DVD when you add all the stuff back in,” but trust me, all the good stuff is in this movie. The only new stuff on the DVD, you’ll see and say, “Oh, that’s why they cut it, it was just bad.”
We’ve seen lots of movies lately, like “Son of Rambow” and “Be Kind Rewind,” about characters setting out to make their own films. Why are your characters making a porno instead of a “traditional” movie?
I wanted this to be about first-timers—all these know-nothings who gang together and make a movie and are sort of operating out of their league. I kind of cribbed that from my own life, it’s semi-autobiographical. I made “Clerks” about people who didn’t know how to be clerks, and now here’s a movie about porno directors who don’t know how to make a porno. But if I were to make a movie about people just making a film instead of a porno, that would have been way too close to real life. Even having Zack work at a coffee shop, which is almost like a convenience store, that was almost too similar.
And why do they choose “Star Wars” as their porno-spoof target?
That was an absolute no-brainer for me. It’s perfect, a “Star Wars” porno. It’s the last “Star Wars” joke I will ever tell in a film. I’ve been cracking jokes about them for 15 years now and I officially have nothing left to say about “Star Wars.”
In the movie Zack works at a Starbucks type of coffee shop and that eventually becomes a location for the porn shoot. Should we read anything in to that?
[At the time of] “Clerks,” it was the convenience store that dotted the landscape. You couldn’t throw a stone in any direction without hitting one. Today, it’s coffee shops that are available everywhere, and that’s why I wanted to do a story about people working there. I’ll get a smile on my face though if people can’t walk into a Starbucks any more without [picturing] balls on the table.
Seth Rogen has been quoted as saying he always dreamt of being in a Kevin Smith film. Did you write this role with him in mind?
I saw him in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” and instantly fell in love with him. I thought, “This guy sounds like one of my characters. He carries himself just like one of my characters,” and then I started realizing he was in all these great things—“Undeclared” and “Freaks and Geeks.” And I thought to myself, “I’ll write this guy a lead and he’ll owe me for life. It will be Affleck version two.” But then as I was writing the script this guy blew up with “Knocked Up” and suddenly I realized that Judd Apatow is indeed a lot smarter than me.
So how did he end up in the movie?
I wrote him an email, saying “Ever since ‘40-Year-Old Virgin’ I’ve wanted to write this movie for you, but I now understand you need no help in your movie career, and I understand if you pass.” And no bullshit, I get this e-mail five minutes later saying: “When I first came to L.A. my agent asked me what I wanted to do with my career and I said, ‘I want to be in a Kevin Smith film.’ That has not changed. Please send me the script.”
So once again, “Clerks” just keeps paying dividends. He said it was the movie that made him want to be a writer. It was definitely a case where we were mutual fans.
Finally, I have to ask. What’s your porn name? The cross between your first pet’s name and the name of the street where you spent your childhood.
Tabitha Jackson. It doesn’t quite work. Well, maybe it works if I’m a tranny. I do have the boobs. If “Zack and Miri” doesn’t work out, and you see Tabitha Jackson starring in a movie some day, then you’ll know things didn’t quite pan out for me.
Find showtimes for "Zack and Miri Make a Porno."
